With my brother and father-in-law just did their open heart surgeries. I suspect my coronary arteries are probably clogged. I can feel the pain and always attribute it to muscle strain. I am always in denial when it comes to the affairs of my heart. Luckily, my wife insisted on buy health insurance even though I was covered when I was employed. Now, with no employer's coverage, I need not go for checkup to qualify for insurance. My wife does have foresight and always prepares for uncertain future.
I have been thinking too that in order not to drain family's finances, if it is time for me to leave this world, I like to leave quickly and with minimal fuss and costs. Everyone of us have to die the moment we are born. Where there is life, there is death. Death is a taboo subject. No one like to think or discuss our mortality. Everyday is a blessing and I am enjoying my life, work and family.
Many a times, I try to imagine, after I transition from my physical existence on Earth and go to the Hall of Memories to review the life I just left behind, what accomplishments do I have. I have not save any life or done any heroic act that is news worthy. I just lead an ordinary life, with an ordinary career, have an ordinary family and an ordinary lifestyle. "Ordinary" is the key word and I worry I have to be reincarnated to Earth again. The cycle of rebirth and karma will continue. I wish I meditate and able to move to a higher plane of existence.
Footnote: Many of the terminology I used in this essay is from Lobsang Rampa.
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