Thunder rumbling. Rain shower come and go. Here I am still at my computer wondering and thinking. Reading Final Exams bring forth thoughts about death. I do not know how to deal with death.
I have an aging mother living 12,000 miles away. I also wonder the possibility of sudden passing due to accident or even disappearing while in a flight to work. Once we had heated discussions in the car(it is good to have serious discussions as it is a captive audience) about our boys taking care of me in future when I am old and senile. "Just make sure I die of a comfortable death." is all I am asking them to do. My boys have their own ideas how they want to run their lives. I have no issue once they leave home. However, they will need to abide by my rules when they are living at home.
Many a time I also wonder what am I going to do if and when my mother move on. I am designated to take care of her matters as I lived in Canada before. I dread and hope this moment will never come. I enjoys calling her and make my boys call her regularly. I have no idea what exact she want and how I can do being so far away. It is a scary position to be in. I hope the day will never come.
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